Kolumne: Mein Leben als Schatten #2
Ich habe den ganzen Tag das Haus nicht verlassen.
Ich fühle mich schlecht deswegen. Ich habe das Gefühl, kaum etwas geschafft zu haben. Habe ich nicht eben noch auf der Couch gelegen? Ja okay, 1 Stunde. Aber ich habe ja währenddessen etwas gemacht. Trotzdem komme ich mir faul vor. Unendlich faul.
Als mein Freund nach Hause kommt lüge ich ihn an. Wie immer eigentlich.
In sehr seltenen Fällen gebe ich zu, dass ich nichts auf die Reihe bekommen habe. Aber an diesen Tagen habe ich eine gute Ausrede. Meist bin ich krank, oder habe meine Tage. Dann versteht er es. Sonst würde er das nicht. Wie erklärt man jemandem diese Leere? Diese Lethargie? Diese Angst, sowieso nicht zu genügen und alles falsch zu machen? Gar nicht. Die meisten Menschen würden es nicht verstehen. Also lüge ich.
„Ich war eine kleine Runde spazieren.“
„Ich war beim Bäcker etwas zu essen holen.“
„Ich war kurz einkaufen.“
Alles normale Sätze, die oft nicht stimmen.
Wenn ich dann doch noch das Gefühl habe, das Haus verlassen zu müssen, sage ich oft:
„Ich hatte so viel zu tun, dass ich es nicht raus geschafft habe. Gehst du mit mir spazieren?“ Oder ich dränge drauf, noch etwas zu unternehmen. Weil ich weiß, dass es mir gut tut. Und weil es zu zweit einfacher ist.
Alle Beiträge zur Kolumne: Mein Leben als Schatten.
Hallo, ich bin Marie, Mitte 20 und sozusagen das „Mädchen für Alles“ hier auf diesem Blog. Ich schreibe über meine Erfahrungen mit dem Thema Depressionen, Sozialphobie und Anorexie. Alles musste ich leider bereits durchleben, oder stecke mittendrin. Ich bin wie ihr. Ein normales Mädchen mit psychischen Problemen. Aber mit jeder Menge Mut, Kraft und Reflektion- so wie ihr auch!
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